Love YOU first.

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More than fifteen years ago, I remember sitting at the family dinner table, savoring a mouthful of rice and tuyo (which is salted dried herring fish), using my right hand. It was a familiar ritual until he interrupted, suggesting I use cutleries instead and he expressed the disdain for the lingering aroma it brought to the house.

Silently, I complied, nodding in agreement while internally grappling with the weight of seeking his approval in every aspect of my life, from the friends I spent time with to how I presented myself.

It became a cycle of seeking validation, exhausting yet strangely familiar. But today, as I stood in the kitchen frying tuyo and relishing the thought of pairing it with garlic rice and vinegar, I felt a shift.

Apologizing to Tony for the unavoidable scent that filled the air, his response was unexpected yet profound. “I don’t care, baby. I just want you to be happy.”

In that moment, I realized the depth of his acceptance. He didn’t just tolerate me; he embraced me wholly, irrespective of cultural differences or personal quirks.

Reflecting on my journey to self-love, I recall arriving in the United States with a resolve to thrive independently, convinced I didn’t need love to feel complete. But in loving and accepting myself, I unwittingly opened the door for Tony to enter my life.

True love, I now understand, begins with self-love. It’s about embracing every facet of oneself, unapologetically. And in Tony, I found a partner who celebrates my authenticity without reservation.

So, to anyone reading this, may you find the kind of love that holds you tight, even after a breakfast of tuyo. 😃

The Joy of Being Fearless

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I remember being young and stupid. Making decisions that should have not been made in the first place. I reflect on a time when I embraced the freedom of being young and, yes, admittedly, a bit foolish. Those carefree days were marked by impulsive decisions and a belief in my own invincibility. I was navigating a world that seemed painted with endless possibilities.

There were weekends that I would drive my trusty Suzuki Vitara to go scuba diving in Batangas, Philippines. Learned how to sail a one-man topper boat in Taal Lake. Eventually, became one of the crew members of a couple of boats in Manila Yacht club. Also learned mountaineering, which I only did for a year. I also ran, both on the road and on a trail somewhere.

For the reasons mentioned above… I was almost always somewhere where my parents did not know exactly where I was, but they did know what I was up to. I would be gone for days. More often than not, they were against any of my outdoor activities. 

“Gigi, delikado yang mga gusto mo.” (Gigi, those activities are pretty dangerous)

And they were ABSOLUTELY-F*CKING RIGHT.

However, as the years unfolded, so did my understanding of life. The mistakes that I made in my youth served more as lessons – threads that stitched together a mature version of myself. It wasn’t an easy journey. There were dicey moments when I stumbled over my own misplaced confidence.

Yet, each misstep was a step towards growth. 

My fearlessness from outdoor activities disappeared when my son Sky came along. Suddenly, I was responsible for another human being. 

Today’s snowy and icy road made me think of my old self. The young version of Gigi would have just drove around and not think of the consequences of a possible accident. 

Now, as I navigate the world with a deeper understanding. I appreciate the beauty of growth. So, I stayed home and away from the slick roads that represented the me when I was younger.

I am still Fearless, but this time I have Wisdom in my back pocket.

When Sh*T Happens. It May Be A Blessing In Disguise.

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Have you ever experienced a moment that seemed like a stroke of bad luck, only to realize later it was a blessing in disguise? 

Sometimes, life’s greatest gifts come wrapped in unexpected packages.

My gift arrived 11 years ago. 

The back window of my car was smashed by sidings from my apartment complex due to wind gusts of 70mph. I was just new to the Tricities and did not have a man at that time. As I was covering the back of the window with plastic that I bought from Lowe’s… I thought to myself… It would be really nice to have a man help me out with things like this.

So, like any decent woman looking for a handyman… I went online at Match.com… And I found more than a handyman! I found my best friend. And I think I am pretty lucky that he is a hunk of a man too!

I also remember a time when I missed out on what I thought was my dream job – I wanted to become a flight attendant. But, I was vertically-challenged for the job – so I never even made the cut! 

At first, it felt like a crushing setback—a closed door to something I had worked hard for. But as time went by, I found myself on a different path, one that led to opportunities I hadn’t even imagined. That missed chance turned out to be the catalyst for personal growth and unforeseen adventures.

These blessings in disguise teach us resilience and open doors to new possibilities. They’re reminders that life often has plans far beyond our immediate understanding. Perhaps it’s a missed connection that leads to a lifelong friendship, a failed venture that sparks a groundbreaking idea, or a heartbreak that paves the way for a deeper, more fulfilling relationship.

So, the next time life throws a curveball your way, consider it might be a blessing in disguise. Embrace the uncertainty, stay open to the lessons it brings, and who knows what incredible opportunities might unfold as a result.

And you might just find your handyman too… 